4 Reasons Why You're Not Getting What You Want
1. You're unclear about what you want.
Get clear about what you want and why you want it. This is important because you can say you want one thing, yet your thoughts, beliefs, and actions don’t align with what you want. When this happens you end up creating or experiencing what you don’t want, or what you later find to be unsatisfying. Always ask yourself why you want it.
Use your senses and think about what you want the goal to look, feel, smell, sound, and taste like. You want to envision the goal, or it becomes almost impossible to experience it. You must put yourself in the right environment. It’s like craving Mexican food then going to a Chinese restaurant and getting disappointed when you don’t get Mexican. You didn’t even give yourself a chance to experience the food you wanted because you were in a completely different environment.
Getting clear about your intentions and engaging the senses, gives your goal a starting point. You give the Universe a general direction of where you want to go. And I say “general” because you must also be open to how your goal will be achieved and/or experienced (more on letting go in #3).
Knowing what you want and why you want it, brings it into alignment. When the what aligns with the why, it becomes a more effective and efficient process, carrying with it a deeper fulfillment and satisfaction. You are creating from faith, trust, assurance, and clarity.
“Intentions are attached to outcomes.”
For example, a person may struggle with weight loss because they don’t feel accepted or loved by others. Then they lose the weight but still feel unaccepted and unloved by others. In fact, it may even be worse because now they are doubling down on the self judgement: Why do I still feel this way even after meeting my goal? What’s wrong with me? Am I not worthy of acceptance and love? Am I doing something wrong? Hopefully sooner rather than later, they come to the conclusion that the acceptance and love that they seek was not from others, but from themselves. The REAL goal wasn’t to lose weight, because if it was, they’d be happy and satisfied. The REAL goal was to love and accept themselves. The REAL goal and intent were never identified. If they had been identified, the journey and outcome may have been a different experience.
2. You think others are obligated to believe in/support you.
The sooner you accept that others are under no obligation to you, the sooner you can take accountability and action toward your goal. The expectations you place on others will have you waiting on THEM, rather than getting it done yourself. Not only will you be waiting on them, but you will be resentful. Resentment becomes like a dense cloud above your head, filtering all that you see and experience with the belief that nothing will turn out because people always let you down.
Someone, at some point, will let you down, and it will probably be the person you are closest to, because these are the people you place the highest expectations on. But even this experience is necessary because you need to know that not even your closest confidant can do for you, what you’re meant to do for yourself. YOU are the person you’ve been waiting for. Nobody supports your goals with the same fervor and energy as you will, because they can’t. It’s not their goal. You have the opportunity to grow into the person you’ve been waiting for.
In order to experience what you want in life; you have to become the person who is capable of experiencing it. Becoming that person allows you to understand the journey. You learn the route it takes to get there. You know which direction to go. It’s the difference between having a map and having a tour guide (you).
The map gives directions while the tour guide can get you there quicker and with much more understanding of the obstacles, pitfalls, road closures, etc. The tour guide knows the details when getting to the destination. They know where to go and where not to go. In fact, it is their job to get you there in the most efficient manner possible. And if you ever need or want to take that route again, you’ll know exactly how to get there. There’s no need to wait on somebody else to take you.
3. You believe there’s only one way to get it.
You have reasons why you want your goal to be accomplished a certain way. You know exactly how you want it to arrive and when you want it to arrive. Remember #1 being unclear? Getting clear is necessary because you give the Universe a general direction and idea of what you want. But now, you must be willing to let it go.
Why? Because there’s deeper growth that you may not be aware of, that need to take place in order for you to reach your goal. You might ask: I was clear about what I wanted, and I envisioned it, so why can’t I have it in that way? Well, you can but it will be temporary and less fulfilling. Anything you truly desire from the heart serves a much bigger purpose than just reaching a goal. The purpose may not be known to you at the moment, but there’s a deeper fulfillment that your soul wants you to experience. And this allows you to share what you have with others, on a grander scale.
Let’s put it like this: You get to choose between 2 cups; a big one and a small one. You choose the big one because you can put more in the cup, and when you can put more in, you not only have some for yourself, but you can also share with others. You’re allowing expansion in your life. And when you expand, you can fit more into your life. And when you can fit more into your life, you can give more. Humans are hardwired to help, to give, to support, and to connect. It activates the part of the brain that fosters connection and love. There’s a desire to serve the greater good, from an evolutionary stand point this makes sense because it increases survival. Humans crave community, and the goal you set for yourself was not just meant to serve you…but to serve all.
4. You’re not creating the right environment.
You must create an environment that can hold and sustain what you want. Like a planted seed, it will not grow and breakthrough the surface if the conditions aren’t right. What are you doing today, to prepare for it? Are you cultivating the proper environment?
For example, if you want to experience more peace in your life, you may prepare by examining all the areas in your life that bring disruption and look to eliminate those areas, or at the very least…lessen the impacts. If you want peace, yet continue to allow certain people into your life that constantly bring disruption…then you will not fully experience it. If you want peace, yet refuse to train your mind to have new thoughts, and you continue to allow the same chaotic thoughts to dominate your mind, then you will not fully experience it.
Think of the smallest, most impactful action you can take today, that will bring you closer to your goal. Try not to judge the small steps. It’s not about taking leaps; it’s about taking small steps. You’re building a bridge to what you want. You’re moving a goal from impossible to possible. You’re setting yourself up for success and celebrating the small wins, which inspire and motivate you to keep going. Each step gives you clarity and a deeper understanding of the benefits of the bridge you are building.
Building the bridge may take longer, but you’ll know what it takes to get there, and you’ll be able to cross that bridge anytime. Leaping over the bridge may be faster, but you will not have gained the wisdom and insight to get there, therefore you cannot cross at anytime. Create the right environment and watch it grow!
Sending my Love and Light.
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